Ambition

Ambition, (this is gonna be a really cheesy post btw) is it good or bad? As most things it’s probably both. Too much ambition and you miss out on the relationships in your life but too little gets you where I am, or at least where I feel like I am. I feel like there isn’t anything in my life that I really wanted and went for. I mean there are accomplishments for sure. I have a professional degree which I did work my butt off to finish with a 4.0 gpa…. But what is the end result? I mean I changed a lot as a person and became much more open minded which is the best skill a human being can have but on paper people, I’m talking on paper. I have a Social work degree and I’m dispatching ambulances making more money than I would make as a social worker but barely over minimum wage.

I feel like am a fairly good person some of the time. I am the type of person that’s always striving for more and better and I feel like I am ambitious in that regard. I guess I just feel frustrated that the logistics of my life don’t reflect my inner ambition. I have trouble finding focus. Because I am constantly thinking and have natural relational skills I feel like I’m always maturing and am able to negotiate uncomfortable social situations most of the time but I want to do something concrete. I want to have a tangible project to be pouring myself into. And I mean I want to work on my spiritual life but I feel like I could be more passionate about life and in turn God if I had a project. I’ve been interrupted too often to finish my original thought inspiration so that’s it.

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